The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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