So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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