Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
