how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
40s are totally the cure
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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