hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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