How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
