1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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