You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You ruined the universe
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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