Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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