he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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