tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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