dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
