it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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