BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
