hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
