Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i barfeds in our rink
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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