Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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