He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
did i just pee glitter
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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