My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
