Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize