What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
