Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
