Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
