i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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