I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize