just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Randomize
