spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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