Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
