Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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