You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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