can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
