u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
