oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
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I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
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We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..