dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS