How drunk are you??
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...