kristin has been a bad kristin
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.