btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
