all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
