if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
