why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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