I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize