i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
