ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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