There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
