I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
