Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
