we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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