haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's rum buckets o'clock
i think im in europe. pls send help
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