hotel room ftw
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
