idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
