Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
