I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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