Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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