Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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