i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize