And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
