and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
