So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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