Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
