i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize