Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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