Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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